HONEST THOUGHTS OF A 30 SOMETHING BLOGGER

"Do people secretly laugh on the inside when I tell them I'm a 32 year old blogger? Are they thinking I should have a "proper" career by now?"

"How the hell has she got 100k followers and I've been blogging for about 100 years and only have 2k? Maybe I should get my tits out too? Actually *looking down at saggy mounds of flesh* maybe I won't..."

"Why are my eye wrinkles showing on every selfie?! Maybe I shouldn't smile, it's making them worse. Where's the blur tool on this god damn phone?!"

"Receive email. Email is an invite to a pool party. Which means wearing a swimming costume. Are you shitting me? Delete email."

"Oh great, another event where I walk in and completely lose the ability to form a conversation despite being a 32 year old woman with a successful career, plenty going on in life and a fully functioning mouth."

"I'm old enough to know better than to buy another copper lantern, marble notebook and pink furry cushion. I'm a walking talking cliché. Kill me now."

"Are there any actual Youtuber's out there over the age of 30? I need to watch something other than a bloody luxury handbag reveal!"

"Maybe I should be out doing something, you know, cultural, instead of sitting in my bedroom on my laptop. I've reverted back to my 16 year old self, except minus dial up internet."

"Look, that bitch is now on 200k! Are you freaking kidding me?!"

"Is a baby the latest Instagram accessory? Should I have one? Does society think I'm too old to have one now? Does my Aunty think I'm baron, and that's why I'm yet to procreate? When will this never ending thought process of a 30 something ever end?"

"Oh sod it, I don't give a shit anymore. I might write a blog post and see if any other 30-somethings stopped giving a shit too. Might go down well on Twitter."